Why Does It Have to Be So Complicated?

Tags

attraction, battle of the sexes, break ups, casual sex, commitment, dating, divorce, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, Valentine, Valentine's Day

Commenter fuzziewuzziebear writes:

“From the standpoint of a bear, I can’t understand how or why humans make things so complicated.”

Good question, fuzziewuzziebear!

He adds:

“The video is G rated. Bears aren’t terribly good at kissing.”

And ladies, this bear seems to know how to use her feminine wiles to full advantage! Until the remote control airplane shows up and distracts the object of her affections, anyway (men!)

Happy Valentine’s Day to all you Red Pill folks! May it be complication-free!

What Would You Bring?

Tags

attraction, battle of the sexes, break ups, commitment, courtship, dating, divorce, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance, sex

A commenter on a Red Pill blog I used to follow (Just Four Guys, which unfortunately is no longer online) once said something I think is an idea worth sharing, and one not shared nearly enough.

He told the tale of twice being on the verge of proposing, and twice changing his mind after having this conversation with his potential life mates:

Him: What are you looking for in a relationship/marriage?

Her: (She easily comes up with a long list of must have attributes, ways the relationship/marriage would benefit her, what she would expect from him, etc.)

Him: And what would you bring?

Her: (Blank confused stare, crickets…)

In both cases, he realized that she had not given any thought, not even in passing, about what she would BRING to a relationship, simply what she would GET from a relationship. And for him, that was a deal breaker.

So ladies, take heed. Next time you find yourself making a list of what HE needs to do, be, give, etc. (which by the way, often leads to feelings of unhappiness, lack, and dissatisfaction if you are making that list about a current partner, much less a dream one) try switching it up and thinking about what YOU could do, be, and give instead.

After all love is a two-way street, isn’t it?

Let those who have ears hear.

You Are Not a Victim (Sorry!)

Tags

equality, feminism, red pill, sexism, victim, victum status

Ladies, you’ve probably been told you whole life that because you are a woman, you are a victim. That you’ll have to work harder, for less, and still never be taken seriously because you aren’t a MAN.

Wow, that bites. Except you know what — it’s only true if you believe that it’s true.

Yep. If you believe being a woman will lead to your being harassed, assaulted, taken advantage of, underpaid, controlled, coerced, and unappreciated chances are those beliefs will turn into a self limiting, self fulfilling prophecy. And the only person whose fault that would be is your own.

At least in the United States, there’s probably never been a better time to be a woman from an opportunity perspective. If anything, one could almost argue that today, being a woman makes it easier to do or be anything you want to be than ever before in history thanks to programs and quotas and changes in the law implemented over the past forty-some years.

So do yourself a favor and drop the victim label (yes, even you Hill@ry!*) If anything, it will only hold you back. And why on earth would you want that? Personal responsibility — seize it, sista! If it ain’t working, try looking within.

And actually, I have never understood why women seem to think being a man makes everything so easy anyway. Believe it or not, it sucks to be a man sometimes, too!

—————–

* maybe it isn’t sexism, maybe some people (including women) just don’t want YOU as POTUS.

 

 

 

I Want to Be a Mom!

Tags

career, family, feminism, job, mom, mother, mothering, parenting, red pill, SAHM, stay at home mom

I can clearly remember sitting in a circle in my second grade classroom (around 1977?) while we went around and answered the question, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

Even at that young age I knew the appropriate answers for a girl were either, “a teacher” or “a nurse.” And if like me you really wanted to score affirmation points, “President!”

(I actually didn’t want to be President, or a teacher, or a nurse…but somehow I knew those were the answers adults asking me that question were looking for.)

Some girls still would say, “wife” or “mom.” And when they did the teacher would look slightly disappointed and disapproving, and correct them. “No dear, the question is what do you want to BE when you grow up?”

This morning, my almost 5-year-old daughter was buzzing around, and she blurted out of nowhere, “When I grow up, I am going to be a mom!”

She stood there, with her big blue eyes, tousled blonde curls, peachy pink skin and cupid bow lips, just beaming with pride. Adorable!

My heart swelled up with joy, and I said, “You bet baby! That’s awesome! And I bet you are going to be the best momma EVER! That’s going to be so GREAT!”

And she giggled, and skipped off, happily dreaming of her future babies to be…

I’m so glad nobody has told my daughter yet that being a “mom” isn’t a legitimate endeavor. Because I think it is. In fact, I can hardly think of a more important job a woman could undertake — to guide, teach, and nurture the future.

Seems my second grade teacher had that (and a lot of other things!) all wrong!

Let those who have ears hear!

 

 

Is There Such a Thing As Girl Game?

Tags

attraction, battle of the sexes, commitment, courtship, dating, game, love, marriage, red pill, relationships, romance

If you are familiar with the Red Pill, perhaps you have heard the term “Game.” Different people define it in different ways, but in short the term comes from a book written on the topic of romancing and seducing women, and the basic idea is that by learning “game” a man can increase his odds of romantic success.

That may leave the ladies asking, “Is there such a thing as girl game?” I am glad you brought it up! In fact, like men, women can increase their odds of success in the dating and marriage marketplace by understanding what she can do to increase her attractiveness to the type of man she is interested in.

Interestingly, I have found that the advice from men on Girl Game is radically different than any advice you’ll read on dating or marriage written by women. Nor will it resemble anything you have read before in the main stream media or women’s magazines. However, it seems to me considering advice straight from the source is always a good idea — who would know better what men are really looking for than men?

With that in mind, here’s a collection of articles on Girl Game, by men.

Andrew at The Rules Revisited did a three part series on girl game based on age: tips for the teen years, the 20’s, and the 30’s. All three articles are well worth a read. If you are past your 30’s, I’d recommend reading all three, followed by this one aimed at women over age 40. (Beware: He doesn’t sugar coat things, so put on your thick skin first!)

In all of those blog posts he outlines “Female Game” as a three part plan of attack:

1. Making yourself as attractive as possible
2. Making yourself approachable
3. Filtering out the men that just want to have sex with you from the men that want to date you

If you do nothing else, keeping those three points in mind is a great starting point to improve your Girl Game.

Here are two more articles on girl game, one from The Private Man and one from Roosh V. (Warning, again both require an open mind and thick skin. Proceed accordingly.)

As hard as some of this Girl Game advice is to hear, knowing and implementing this information will put you leagues ahead of your clueless female peers following the same old dumb advice from Cosmo, and getting the same old non-results.

After all, are you playing the game to play, or are you playing the game to win?

Feel free to add your thoughts on Girl Game in the comments. What works? What doesn’t?

Isn’t My Life Complicated Enough?

Tags

adultery, affair, attraction, bad boys, casual sex, divorce, red pill, relationships

I have mentioned this before in passing, but I wanted to share an idea that I have found greatly helps me to make better life choices.

I ask myself, when tempted to do something I know I probably shouldn’t, “Isn’t my life complicated enough?”

And the answer is always, “Yes, yes it is.”

The decision suddenly becomes very clear. Pass.

It also makes a handy line for when someone is trying to talk you into something you know you shouldn’t do. Like my old neighbor Hercules, when he made a quite unexpected pass at me one day in my kitchen despite his being married at the time, and my neighbor, and his wife was my friend, and our kids all played together.

Don’t get me wrong, he’s very attractive. We could have. Nobody would have known. And he was being quite aggressive in his attempts to convince me, not taking my initial “no” for an answer.

So I just said, “Isn’t my life complicated enough?” It stopped him dead in his tracks because even he knew, “Yes, yes it was.”

Awkward moment averted with no hurt feelings. And a complicated situation that could have (let’s be real, would have) been an absolute train wreck avoided.

When in doubt about a life choice, feel free to try it yourself. It hasn’t steered me wrong yet!

Let those who have ears hear.

 

What’s Your Market Value?

Tags

attraction, battle of the sexes, casual sex, dating, marriage, MMV, red pill, relationships, romance, sex, SMV

Ladies, have you heard of the terms “sexual market value (SMV)” and “marriage market value (MMV)?” If not, they are red pill terms for how men rank a woman’s (and women rank a man’s) desirability for sex and marriage.

This is a really touchy subject, and one many people get up in arms about. However it is also powerful information you can use to your full advantage after you understand it.

Similar to a 1-10 scale, the higher the number, the more desirable a person is and the more options they will have. SMV and MMV are slightly different, as someone can have a high SMV ranking (they are hot and get lots of attention) but not a high MMV (for some reason they aren’t good marriage material.)

It’s also important to note that women’s SMV and MMV are at their highest in the early to mid 20s while a man’s SMV/MMV peak comes in his mid to late 30s. Why?

Much of a woman’s SMV and MMV is based upon her physical appearance and fertility while a man’s is based upon his material wealth, status, and power.

It’s also important to note that fair or not, a woman is at her physical and fertility peak a full decade younger than a man is at his wealth, status, and power peak.

Now you can say that’s sexist, or unfair, or not true*. But on a biological level, it’s simply reality. It’s the rare woman who looks better at 40 than she did at 22, and no woman is more fertile at 40 than she was at 22.

Unfortunately many women today focus on their SMV in their youth, and don’t consider how the actions she takes in her teens and 20s could either positively or negatively affect her MMV. Or in other words, short term gains in SMV can lead to big losses in MMV.

Perhaps the guys can weigh in here: Is it so? And if it is, when it comes to SMV vs. MMV, what ranks at the top of your list?

[* And remember, men are not immune to this effect either. A man who is naturally good looking, for example, may have a high SMV in his teens and 20s, but if he’s not also building up his MMV factors via education, job experience, financial stability, and status, he may find it harder and harder to attract women with age.]

The Virginity Curse

Tags

casual sex, courtship, dating, divorce, marriage, red pill, relationships, sex, virgin, virginity

I don’t know about you, but back when I was a teenager (in the late 80s, egads!) there was this mentality that to be a virgin was some kind of curse or something, and the social pressure from peers was that virginity was something to be ditched at the first possible opportunity.

If you don’t believe me, just watch the teen movies of that era. In almost every one, there is a character on a quest to lose their virginity like it is some rite of passage.  Characters who are virgins are portrayed as dweebs or squares or horribly uncool.

When I talk to teenagers today, it seems not much has changed. There may be some here and there who are taking virginity pledges and such, but for the most part it seems the attitude that to be a virgin is somehow a bad thing remains. That “experience” is preferable to innocence.

Frequent commenter Artisanal Toad raised an interesting point on his blog recently when he brought up an Old Testament passage that says, to paraphrase, when a girl loses her virginity, in God’s eyes the couple is married for life, unless the father objects to the match. In either case the man is required to pay the father the “bride price” in exchange for the daughter’s virginity.

Think about that for a minute. That would mean every girl reading this who is not a virgin is actually still married to the guy she lost her virginity to! Even if he or she went on to marry someone else! Uh oh, if this is the case, that means there are many awkward conversations to be had! (And yes, this rule seems only to be applied to women losing their virginity, not to men, unless the girl is also a virgin and then they are married.)

I hope he won’t mind my reposting the diagram from his site explaining this rather radical idea under today’s sexual norms, for those who are having trouble following this  here:

Wow. I don’t know about you, but I find that absolutely mind blowing!

Now I am not sure if this is the case post New Testament, and since I cannot ask God directly about the in’s and out’s of the fine print, I don’t want to split hairs over if this is or is not the case anymore. However if nothing else it does make me wonder, if women today operated under that assumption that whoever they choose to lose their virginity to would be their husband from that point on till death do they part, how would that change things? Would women still be in a rush to “get it over with” as soon as possible? Or would they be a lot, lot, lot more thoughtful about the matter?

In our culture, the current assumption by and large is that partners WON’T be virgins when they marry. Or even when they meet. Sadly, this is largely the case even among church going folks. I do in fact know several couples who are each other’s first and only, and who are still together and going strong, but it’s exceedingly rare anymore.

How sad. I know I will be encouraging my own girls to wait, to value their virginity and innocence, to resist silly peer pressure, and to wait for a man who is ready and willing to commit to her for life, someone who will love her, honor her, cherish, and keep her all the days of her life.

I hope other girls/teens/young women will also rethink this idea of the “virginity curse” and buck the trend. Wouldn’t it be great if our society got to a point where it was “cool” to be a virgin until one was married? That it was considered a special and sacred moment once more?

Because it truly is a rite of passage, which is very likely why the tradition of weddings became such a big deal. That ceremony is supposed to signify this Old Testament idea — that to lose one’s virginity = marriage. Yep! That’s what the white gown and the standing up and the father giving away and the vows and the big party after are all about. Believe it or not!

Obviously we as a society are so far from that, the idea almost seems nutty. But if you ask me, it actually makes a whole lot of sense! And if one is a believer, it’s something to ponder very carefully indeed.  I doubt God’s view of the matter has changed all that much.

In the case a believer has already crossed the line, I am not sure what the solution might be. Except to repent and sin no more. Like the bible also advises, if you can’t be celibate, find someone and get married, and spend the rest of your days happily knocking boot with your chosen life mate! Yep, it’s as simple (and complex) as that!

Let those who have ears hear.

 

The Mythical Good-Bad-Boy

Tags

attraction, bad boys, battle of the sexes, break up, break ups, casual sex, commitment, dating, divorce, feminism, marriage, red pill, relationships

I am often amazed at the choices some of the women I know make when choosing who to date. Time and again some seem drawn to so-called bad boys like a moth to a flame. Then, days, weeks, or months later, they will complain to anyone who will listen how he turned out to be — you guessed it — a bad boy.

What they are really saying, if they are honest with themselves, is that they thought they could domesticate that bad boy and turn him into that mythical bad boy with a heart of gold. A bad boy who was always good to her and only her. Except, it rarely seems to turn out that way. They may as well search for fried ice.

Experts will say perhaps it’s all those Disney movies, or stories of frogs turning into princes, or beasts turning into good guys that are to blame for the bad choices, but I think part of it can be linked to the way our cultural norms have changed in the past forty-plus years.

Today, women pair up with bad boys *because they can.* At one time such a choice would have been considered a disastrous hit to her social status, greatly reducing her odds of marrying well — or at all. Because of this, friends and family would likely have intervened, or simply forbid such a match.

In response to this some might say, “Thank goodness we don’t live in that world, anymore! Down with the patriarchy and oppression!”

But is it really better that women today are free to flirt with the danger of choosing to pair up with bad boys who won’t turn into the magical good guy when she snaps her fingers and wants him to turn into someone she (and their children) can count on?

For example, I know one such girl, a former next door neighbor, who has this bad boy addiction. And guess what? Yep, the bad boy father of her first two kids doesn’t pay child support, because he lives off his current girlfriend rather than work so he has no income to claim. And now the bad boy she left that one for has also turned out to be (surprise!) the frog he always was. Except she didn’t seem to realize that (besides his many, many red flags flying, repeated broken promises, pass out drunken dates, and drama filled relationship with his first child’s mom, among other warning signs over the two-plus years she chased him) until she was expecting his baby, due this coming April.

Yes, she is free today to make her own choices. But is that really such a good thing? Further, rather than see that her choices led her (and her children) into this bad situation, she continues to wail to anyone who will listen how “they did this to her.”

In reality, they are the same bad boys they were right from the start. And while she doesn’t admit it, I think deep down she knew that, but she just didn’t care. She told herself she could change them. But guess what? She couldn’t.

She’s really got nobody to blame but herself, and based on the results I’d wager at least for women like her, the safeguards of patriarchy might not have been such a bad thing after all.

But not to worry, I’m sure another bad boy will be along shortly….maybe this time things will turn out differently?

Let those who have ears hear.

 

 

My Fair Lady?

Tags

attraction, battle of the sexes, casual sex, commitment, dating, feminism, marriage, red pill, relationships

An offhand comment got me thinking the other day about the somewhat underrated and forgotten value of being “a lady.”

On the way to pick up some supplies, a neighbor who I hire to do occasional handyman type stuff at my place and I stopped at a local spot for lunch.

He started talking about the waitress, basically ranking her smv, but since he is not red pill he was just doing what came natural. As he sat there, speculating out loud about her assets (no pun intended) and liabilities, it was interesting to hear in real time how a guy accesses a gal’s datability and relationship potential.

She was brunette, not fat but perhaps 10-15 pounds overweight, cute face, dressed in black leggings and a tight black t-shirt that didn’t leave much to the imagination. It is hard to guess ages for me, but I would say she was in her mid to upper 30s.

I mentioned something to the effect of how on a 1-10 scale, I felt she and I were about the same, considering I was a few years older than her and otherwise we seemingly had similar but different pros and cons.

“Oh no, ” he said, with a shocked look on his face. “Not even close! You’re way above her.”

“What?” I said in surprise, then jokingly. “Just how do you figure that?”

“Simple,” he said. “Because you are a lady.”

“Awwwww,” I said. And truly, I was flattered. I try to be, anyway, as old fashioned as it seems. I dress modestly but attractively, act demurely, try to behave with decorum, and work to develop my character and personality.

Something I have heard said more than once in the manosphere is that while women will tell each other that nobody cares anymore if a girl cusses, is drama, is brash, aggressive, sleeps around, or dresses and/or acts like a slut.

A lot of women seem to be under the impression that just because for the most part other girls are OK with it, and are even doing the same, guys are OK with a gal being a so-called modern woman, too. If it’s good for the gander, it’s good for the goose.

Well, yes and no. Yes, if he is looking for a short-term or one time sexual experience with her, he’s all for her being “modern!” Bring it on.

But I’ve heard more than several guys, even hardcore players, admit that when it comes to true relationship material, they aren’t looking for a girl who acts like one of the guys or has sowed as many (or more!) wild oats then themselves.

Maybe all things being equal, men still prefer my fair ladies, after all.

Something to ponder, anyway. What do you think?